Each of us have the right to ask for whatever we feel we may need, but how often do we allow ourselves to actually ask for it? I had the pleasure of attending the launch of Kemi Nekvapil’s latest book, The Gift of Asking. Kemi is an incredible life coach and inspirational speaker, who through this book explores why women, although always willing to offer help and compassion where needed, struggle to ask for it for themselves.
Why do so many of us have a hard time asking for help? Whether it be a difficult work project or the stress of parenting, we each at some stage find ourselves feeling overwhelmed. However, in light of this, we are still hesitant to reach out to others in the hope they will help us. Common misconceptions holding us back may be that we are afraid of looking imperfect, that others may think we are weak, or maybe we even fear the possibility of rejection. Hoping to avoid the awkwardness we may feel by inconveniencing someone else with our problems, we’d rather just not ask, and in turn, unnecessarily struggle even more.
Not asking good, or even enough questions has a direct impact on the quality of the choices we make. Habituating the art of being able to ask enables you to gain deep insight, develop more innovative solutions and to arrive at better decision making. The relationship that many women have with asking for what we want or need is complex, and although we will not always get what we ask for, we need to remember we are worthy enough to ask for it in the first place.
It is understandable that as women, we are each at different stages of our lives. Whereas some women find it easy to ask for anything they want or need, others may not possess this ability. However, with whatever we seek to achieve, there will be a point where we will have to ask for support, as if we do not, we will not be able to move forward.
Within the first pages of this incredible book, Kemi quotes Nora Roberts, revealing the importance of ‘Asking’ perfectly:
If you don’t go ask for what you want, you’ll never have it.
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.
When you feel immense stress, when you feel alone, when you need help, or when you are simply curious, ask the questions that you are entitled to ask, and you will no longer be caught in a world of unknown. You deserve an answer to all of your questions; however you cannot obtain them without asking!